Resolve to be better ... yesterday is dead and gone

As 2019 comes barreling at high speed to smash me in the face, I find myself in a pensive mood. This year although replete with small but brilliant victories, has been challenging and excruciatingly painful in ways that were unimaginable to me at the giddy sparkly beginning of 2018.

Despite my usual position of keeping a positive mindset and feeling gratitude, I’m finding myself drawn to reflect on my spectacular failures. This reflection has led me deeper into my own complicated melange of feelings to a confrontation of self. The reality isn’t that my failures are someone else’s fault, but my own. How did I ruin everything? What damage did I cause to get me to this moment? What actions did I take to get me here? From the good to the bad, I find myself taking responsibility for my current position.

We’re all hurt and tired and harried, but at what point were we the source of someone’s pain, exhaustion and strain, thusly making our own bed of pain, exhaustion and strain?

When did you insert yourself and opinions in situations you were not equipped nor was it your place to judge?

What comment did you carelessly toss out that created ill will towards you?

How often did you get murder mad at someone for making a simple mistake?

How were you unforgiving toward someone trying to change themselves for the better, causing them to just give up?

How many times did you just not listen?

I invite everyone to really think about this year and ask yourself how you could have been better, softer, more forgiving. Things happen that you can’t take back. There are definitely situations that are irreparable, but we can stop fighting each other with apathy and anger and start the new year off with compassion for ourselves and others. We are our own worst enemies. We get in the way of happiness constantly. Our actions should come from positions of kindness designed to uplift not tear down.

Communicate effectively with the people around you. You don’t know what somebody is going through until you discuss it. Talk more, text less. Texting lacks nuance, and communication loses its meaning. Be present.

New Year’s resolutions should be about being better, not about having a firmer butt (although that’s important too). Be forgiving. Be mindful. Be present. Be kind. As I ring in the new year and lean in for my first kiss of the New Year (cough, cough from my dogs), I’ll move forward with this purpose to be better.

”Yesterday is gone and you will be OK

Place your past into a book

Burn the pages, let ‘em cook”

Burn the Pages — Sia